Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize