I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
