Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize