I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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