omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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