someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
