i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
