Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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