Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
false alarm, still single
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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