If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's never too late to be topless.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize