All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
