everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
