I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
