So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
