GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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