My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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