let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
