its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
