I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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