i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
