k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
