In the future we'll all be gay
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my shit smells like andre
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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