Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
