Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
