So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
