He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
There r osticjed everywhere
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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