like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
