oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
