considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
