I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
