her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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