Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I want to make a zoo with you.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
