the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
