For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize