I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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