it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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