I wannas sexs uuuuu
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
