..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
