I feel great
I just peed on a car
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize