drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
