he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
