So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
