Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
This is my life. Enjoy the view
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
