New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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