why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
