I want to walk on stilts...naked
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he shaved USA in his pubs
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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