i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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