i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
