why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
