I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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