I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Damn victory sex feels great
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize