I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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