Need sex. Gaining weight.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I need to stop coming to work sober
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
