Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
