the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Randomize
