11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
