Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
