going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
