I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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