I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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