I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Come back. Shots need mouths.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
