i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize