Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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